(Part 9) Burry Me Next To The Dead Bitch

Jeff had fallen a sleep a little into the priest’s speech, he could hear the voices get quieter and louder, he heard every other word, but then he felt a push on his shoulder, it was his dad waking him up.
“Jeff, your up next.” His father said, he saw the woman to the other side of his dad, she looked disgusted. Falling asleep at a funeral…it was pretty low. The only reason Jeff found his situation funny was because he saw the irony of falling asleep at an open wake
Amanda is even A-Wake for it. He laughed at his little terrible joke, then he decided to listen in to the eulogy that was being given, in hopes that he would get some ideas.
“…she was a straight C+ student, she had such a bright future ahead of her, if only she applied herself. I will always love her and care for her…but she’s dead now and everything. Goodbye and goodnight Amanda,” her mom started to cry, “Up next, the ever loved Amanda’s truthful, faithful, loyal, ex boyfriend, Jeff Dunwell, who broke up with her the morning she died.” Jeff took a deep swallow, he could’ve sworn that everyone heard it, but he just heard a girl gasp from the other side of the room, so he figured he was safe. He stood up and headed towards the stand, still not knowing what he was going to say. As he walked up the stairs he heard the doors to enter the room swing open, he turned around to see the back of the girl, she looked familiar but he had no idea who it was. When he finally took his place on at the stage, he looked at the crowd.
“Amanda Suckmore…” GREAT FUCKING WAY TO START JEFF! He thought completely upset with himself “Sookmer…I’m sorry, it’s been a stress full week,” he recoiled, “She was beautiful, kind… to everyone…” he lowered his voice, “And I DO mean everyone.” He said under his breath.
“We heard you say that you know.” Called a man from the back
“Thank you sir… she stopped everyone’s heart when she turned around…”
“Yeah, she DID have a nice ass didn’t she.” Exclaimed a man, suddenly every guy in the room talked, Jeff could hear, “Yeah, she did.” “It’s weird she suggested Doggy style, but I actually turned her down because I didn’t want to ruin it.” Jeff just closed his eyes.
Don’t listen to them, just quickly think of what else to say.
“She…was amazing and wonderful.” Jeff said, just lying through his teeth. Then he turned to the coffin, he looked at her, she was…calm… but her mouth was stretched to the size of an ‘O’ with the same cloths she was in when she had the crash…then he saw something.
“Umm… Ms. Sookmer…can you come here please?” he called. She ran over and took to Jeff’s side.
“Yes, hun, bun, cu…”she stopped herself before she said what she was going to.
“Do you see that?” Jeff said pointing to a wet mark on Amanda’s chin.
“Umm…well look at how stretched her mouth is…it’s probably just saliva.” She replied happily. Jeff turned around and spoke into the microphone.
“Did anyone else she the love shot on Amanda’s chin?” everyone was silent. Amanda’s mom gave Jeff the death stare. Jeff looked around.
“Goodnight Amanda, Live Long and…” Jeff stopped himself…
1.She’s dead already Jeff you stupid, stupid…2. why bring up star trek? This is a damn funeral. Why don’t you just put her on a conveyer belt and ship her off with the stars!
“Sleep well and decompose well.” He turned…there was NO WAY he just said that. He just lowered his head and walked to seat next to his dad. He was blushing.
“It’s ok son, we understand, your terrified, you are depressed, it’s alright. How about you go outside for some air.” Jeff agreed and made his way out. On his way he heard,
“Poor boy, he must be destroyed, that’s the only reason he could have made a eulogy THAT bad.” He just shook his head, he swung the doors open and walked towards the exit, he rolled up his sleeves, he swung the doors open, put his hands on his hips, closed his eyes, raised his head towards the sky and let out a deep sigh. How? That was the only thing going through his head. Worst eulogy? No, but that doesn’t change the fact that it was bad. Then he felt his phone vibrate. He it out and read the new message. It was from his Dad… Jeff’s eyes grew big.
Hey Kiddo. Can you find a ride and come home in an hour? Did YOU know Sara’s mom’s here? See ya later bud.
Jeff couldn’t believe it…he suddenly realized that the warm breeze he felt on the back of his neck hadn’t gone away…it was more of a heavy panting… he turned around, he didn’t see anything aside from a fist collide with his nose. He fell back and landed on the ground, when he opened his eyes he could barley see anything. But then the images came together as he saw an all to familiar face coming in close. Sara. Tears streaked her face which was beat red.
“Sara… wait I can explain.” She grabbed the body of his shirt and lifted him up…he was confused with the strength she had…she lifted him completely off the ground and through him at the railing by the stairs. He bounced off it having hit his head. He started to bleed.
“The morning before she died Jeff, are you telling me you cheated on my best friend with me?!” Jeff’s jaw dropped… he looked down as he felt liquids pouring out of his mouth…not blood…saliva… his salivary glands were going crazy.
“You…but…she NEVER talked about you, and we were dating for years.”
“YEARS!” she exclaimed grabbing his hair and throwing him yet again, this time he didn’t go to far, but once he touched the ground she jumped on him and started punching him in the face…if he wasn’t bleeding before, he sure was now
“She was cheating on me with a GIRL Sara, she had used up all the guys and moved on to girls!”
“So? You should have talked about it.” Sara walked away and headed to her car.
“Sara… I’m sorry, it’s just… after that night, I realized I couldn’t stand her, she was cheating on me, and I hated her, and then when I was with you…I just… it was nice? Ok?” Bad choice of words, she stopped
“IT WAS NICE?!” she ran at him again, she kicked him in the side, he through his head in the air, she grabbed his throat, she lifted him up and with her other hand grabbed the his pants…if it wasn’t for the insane amount of strength she was grabbing him, and all the blood he was losing, he might of enjoyed it… She then threw him in the air, as he started his decent to the ground she ran to his falling body and hurled him down faster towards the ground. Jeff lay there not being able to move, not that he wanted to, he was in enough pain not moving.
“Just nice?” she said with a crooked smile on her face.
“Amazing.” Jeff corrected himself.
“I wish I could say the same…but you weren’t big enough.” She smirked and walked away. Jeff turned on his side as he walked away.
“Sara wait.” He called out, she stopped again and turned around, “I…love you.” Did he mean it? He didn’t even know, but he wanted to fix things.
“You…love me?” she replied, her hands softened up from the fist she had been making. “Yeah… I do.” She smiled
“Aww…” She gave a big smile and ran towards him. She gave him a huge hug, which caused tears to run down Jeff’s face. “AWWW!” she said again, not knowing it was from the pain of his probably bruised rib.
“I love you too.” She smiled and skipped to her car. “Call me later.” She said as she got into her car and drove away.
Jeff still laid there, completely shocked at what had just happened… he was in so much pain. He checked his forehead, a three inch cut, his lip was cut open and he was bleeding from his right ear. He got up and walked to his car. He didn’t care if his dad needed it. He wanted to go home and sleep it off. By the time he had gotten home he got a text message from his dad.
Hey, thanks for taking the car. But now I need to make sure you don’t get a certain coffin… she’s a crazy sex crazed chick buddy ;)
Jeff didn’t bother replying… he didn’t want to hear about any positions his dad was in with his girlfriends mom. He just placed a cover over his bed and drifted off to sleep.