(Part 4) Meeting Sara

Jeff woke up to the sound of the Heart Monitor Flat Lining. He got up and felt light as air.

“Holy Shit” Jeff looked around.

“I’m Dead!” Jeff looked around frantically. The curtains at the edge of the room flew back and Jeff saw a girl on a bed next to him.

“Your not dead, genius.” She giggled, Jeff cringed at her giggle, and he’s not the kind of guy to do this. Back before he started dating Amanda, he would joke and flirt with girls to get them to giggle, it was very appealing to him, but this girls giggle was like a high pitch whine mixed with a bat and dolphin.

“Uh, ok thanks for the info…I’m Jeff.” Jeff extended his arm to shake the girls hand…just to realize that he was not even close to having his arm half way. The girl giggled again.

“First time at the hospital I assume? I’m Sara by the way.” She shrugged her shoulders and turned her face trying to look cute and innocent.

“Yeah…well first time in this wing at least. I fell off…” Jeff realized that the truth was a bad idea since it was completely outrageous and she wouldn’t believe it…and if she did, she would just laugh.

“I fell off my ceilling and hit my head off of a tree branch.” Jeff finished his sentence, feeling very proud at his lie.

“Oh that sounds like it hurt,” Sara said, sounding and looking worried, “Is that why you’ve been here for 3 weeks?”

“3 WEEKS?!” Jeff turned his head very quick to look at the nearest calendar, it was June 15^th… only after did he feel a great pain in his neck and throw his head down on the pillow. “Ugh, son of a bitch.” Jeff moaned and threw his hand over his eyes.

“What are you moaning at? The fact that you’ve been unconscious for 3 weeks or that you are a dumb ass and turned your head to quickly?” Sara once again turned her head to look innocent.

“Both,” Jeff sighed and slid his hands away from his face. “My girlfriends birthday was yesterday, she’s going to kill me.”

“If your neck doesn’t that is.” Sara smiled…the way she always did up to this point.

“Not funny.” Jeff said, although he was smiling and holding back a laugh.

“Well, I’m sure she will understand. I mean you were unconscious.” Sara looked at him waiting for an answer.

“That’s true, thanks Sara. So why are you here?” Jeff asked as he pushed himself on the pillow behind him to sit up.

“Well it’s a funny story, so my friends were over at my house having a little party, and then my friend Kathleen, we call her Crackleen, because…she brought some cocaine!” Jeff’s eyes widened and he shook his head and looked at Sara. “How old are you again?” He asked,

“16 almost 17 why how old are you?”

“16…just turned.” He said still trying to control his surprise.

“Oh that’s cool. Anyways so my friends and I were really …you know…out of it, and then Leslie, who were call Liquory, brought beer and vodka, I was soo happy. Anyways so when we are done I spent a good hour over my toilet, cleaning the system and then I stood up quickly and hit my head off of the medicine cabinet, and got dizzy. So I tried walking straight and fell down the stairs. And I was out cold, and my parents just put me in my bed, when I didn’t wake up for a day they realized I was unconscious…like you,” She turned and looked at Jeff and gave a smile, Jeff tried stopping his surprised stare, but when Sara laughed he knew he hadn’t done a good enough job. “And now here I am with you, pretty wild story huh?” Jeff turned and laid looking at the ceiling.

“Ya…just a bit.”

“Well I am going to catch some sleep…wanted and intended sleep…not sleep being forced after falling down stairs, or off the ceiling, you think I believe that huh?”

“Why wouldn’t you?” asked Jeff

“Well first, you said you fell off your CEILING and hit your head off a tree…so what indoor tree causes a concussion?”

“Oh ya…I mean…”

“And 2^nd my mom saw you…” Jeff’s eyes widened, as there was a knock on the door.

“Baby, I’m here, is that cute boy still knocked out? Can I still do those things to him?” Jeff through his arms out and closed the curtains. Just as he did that his dad came in.

“Hey Jeff, how’s the head…”

“It’s good dad…”

“Is it still staying strong and alert when you woke up? Like that little pun there?” His dad laughed.

“Ya, ya dad it was pretty goo…” he started before his dad talked again.

“And I DO mean little.” His dad laughed again.

“So how are you dad?” Jeff asked while concealing himself from laughter.

“I’m good but I gotta go, just wanted to make a few jokes before I went for my interview.”

“Ok, good luck.”

“Thanks bud, I’ll see you later.” Then his dad left. Jeff turned and saw the silhouette of the crazy lady at the park.

“Now you listen to me, I want you to get dressed for the family reunion tomorrow, try to lose a few pounds while you’re here to won’tcha?” then Jeff heard the door close and he opened the curtains again.

“Your dad seems really nice.” Sara said, looking sad, Jeff looked at Sara, he figured he should try and make her feel better.

“I didn’t fall off my roof, I fell the roof to a play house at the park your mom takes your little brother too and hit my head off of some monkey bars.” Sara just looked at him, her face was completely red and she was biting her bottom lip.

“That’s…terrible..." She had to turn and look away before she laughed. "You wanna here a funny story?”

“Of course.” Jeff said getting ready to hear a story.

"One time I was driving by a Tim Hortons and the sign for it said 'Try our Coffee, its like Social Lubricant.' I laughed pretty hard.” Sara laughed at her little reminiscence.

“That’s pretty funny.” Jeff said…trying to be convincing.

“Thanks.” Jeff looked at Sara.

“Why aren’t you happy?” he asked

“Happiness is overrated.” She stated as she climbed off her bed and went over to some jeans that were lying on the chair and she started to put on.

“No, pants are overrated, happiness is intended.” Sara turned around and just laughed uncontrollably.

“Are you not hungry at all? I remember when I woke up I was starving.” Jeff looked at his stomach, it was growling.

“Ya, I’m pretty hungry, where’s the café?”

“It’s just one floor beneath us, but take the elevator, it’s faster.” Sara said

“Ok thanks.” Jeff got up and headed for the elevator. He pressed the button and waited for the elevator to get to his floor, and then it did, the doors opened to reveal a man standing in the elevator. Jeff stepped into the elevator, and pressed the button.

“The elevator doors are like your mother.” The man in the elevator, Jeff raised an eyebrow and turned to him.

“I’m sorry…what?”

“They never stay closed, if you want me to be specific I mean her legs.” The man started laughing.

“Ok…” Jeff turned towards the elevator doors again waiting for them to open. But the guy started up again.

“In fact your mothers like this entire elevator, everyone is allowed in.” The door opened and Jeff rushed out, he could still hear the guy behind him.

“HEY LOOK I’M STILL INSIDE YOUR MOTHER, I CAN GO LIKE THIS FOR DAYS!” Jeff walked up to the café lady, she looked at him and in a rusty voice she spoke to him.

“What do you want today kid.” Jeff took a moment and looked around the board.

“Umm… can I have, a pizza, apple…and…” He looked around again and saw the coffee.

“And One large Social lubricant 3 milks, 2 and a half sugars…” He couldn’t believe what he just said. The café lady raised an eye brow.

“You want some ice cream with that sport? We have some nice delicious Vagina ice cream…I make it personally in the back, you can watch me if you want.” Jeff’s eyes grew big.

“Actually I’m not hungry buh bye.” He turned around and fast walked away trying to get to the elevator as fast as possible.

“THE OFFERS ALWAYS OPEN HOT HIPS.”

What is with all these senile grandma’s wanting me? Jeff thought.

He pressed the elevator button and walked in quickly he closed his eyes and put his hands on his face again.

“Back again I see…you got an all day pass to your mother huh?” Jeff raised his head. He looked at the guy and turned to him.

“Whatcha gunna do ki…” Before he finished his sentence Jeff punched him right in the jaw. He dropped and spat up blood. Jeff walked out and towards his room.

“Son of a bitch…” Said the man as the doors closed again. Jeff jumped back in bed and tried to go to sleep.

“The café lady hit on you too?” Sara asked giving a big smile. Jeff couldn’t help but smile.

“Shut up Sara, catch some intended sleep.”