Part 12: Welcome To Stone Trek

Jeff sat as close to the cop car's door as humanly possible, where as Ted had a... almost literally, a gay-ol' time.
"So... when was this little encounter..." Ted chirped while having a grin on his face and eyeing Jeff.
"Umm... well... what time is it now?" the cop stammered.
"Um... 10:32 p..."
"8 days, 13 hours, 47 minutes." the cop said without letting Ted finish.
"Oh, ho ho." Ted laughed while looking at Jeff. "Don't you got a lucky one huh Jeffy? He knows the time from when you met like a count-up." Ted thought over what he had asked the cop and turned back around to face the back of his head. "Speaking of little encounter's... baby carrot or celery stick."
"For fuck sakes Ted!" Jeff yelled.
"Hey there potty mouth, don't make me..." the cop took a pause to let out a... sound that resembled a slight moan under his breath. "clean it out." from the reflection in the mirror Jeff saw him licking his lips.
"So... chopped up green onion or cucumber." Ted continued.
"What is it with you an vegetables?" The cop asked turning his face slightly.
"Eyes on the road!" Jeff shrieked.
"Umm... cucumber is a fruit." Ted said with a smirk.
"No it's not." the cop said turning his attention back to the road. Ted leaned over to Jeff and whispered,
"Can't say the same about him can ya?" Jeff tried to conceal a laugh but was too late it was already out.
"So... dill pickle..." Ted started.
"Well if you were to ask me, I would say..."
"Come on let's not talk about this." Jeff pleaded, he started getting annoyed.
"Ok... but don't worry you can sail to china in a raft... just won't be that fun." Ted laughed.
"Oh god please... car crash... I've been good... just send a drunk driver... or a slut who is dating a perfectly nice boy but is giving a guy a job."
"You can run a race with small feet... but you won't finish...actually you probably would finish first." Ted howled at his little joke.
Hours and numerous insults later they arrived at the Juvenile Camp, "Stone Trek." It was called. Jeff and Ted stepped out of the car and looked around, a desert, somehow they were in a desert. It was boiling hot with high humidity, odd for a desert... impossible for a desert.
"Want some schnapps?" The cop asked pulling out a vile of Peach Schnapps out of his pocket.
"We're seventeen." Jeff said.
"So?" Jeff looked around at all the cops... there were a lot. But no one seemed to care. He extended his arm, but before the cop saw him do so Ted chopped it down.
"Do you want a penis in the form of a suppository?" Ted asked in a know it all tone of voice.
"Huh?" Jeff wasn't paying attention.
"Do you want to be someone's Lilly in here? Boy toy, crack potter. Do you want your squash popped?"
"How? How do you come up with this stuff? You really do have an unhealthy obsession with vegetables."
"Yet I'm the one who will live to be one hundred."
"Nope the Big Jacks will destroy those chances." Jeff chuckled. "How do you think of that though? Squash?"
"Well... when you take a girls..."
"Get in there boys, and have fun hope you make some friends." the cop turned and got into his car.
"Wait." Jeff spoke and turned to the cop. He turned around. "What is your name anyways?"
"Bruce." He replied.
"...R...really?" Jeff stammered.
"Yup. Have fun I'll be back in an hour or so. Bye boys." Then he got into his car and drove off. Jeff felt a strong hand grab his fore arm, then he found himself being turned around where he then faced a big looking man. He had grey hair and buzz cut. His eyes looked tormented. The man raised Jeff into the air to be face to face with him.
"Listen here you son of a gun! I don't know why the heck you're here but I'm going to treat you just like ever other bad kid here!" Jeff bit his bottom lip trying not to laugh. This guy had him by his fore arm 2 feet into the air... he didn't want to piss him off... Ted on the other hand was firm on the ground.
"HA! So Sarg. Morality, how long have you been flippin' working here."
"Longer then you had hot meals maggot!" Ted laughed even harder, and Jeff bit his bottom lip even harder. He wanted to see Ted's face, it was probably bright red, which would have added to the comedy of the situation.
"Well sir, in all my years of reaping havoc I have never, I say never seen a man so set against using swear words in a position as you are in." Ted's sentence wasn't properly explained but he got his point across. This bulk head couldn't swear.
"To swear is to show weakness and idiocretitity!" Jeff couldn't hold it in any longer he let out a laugh right in the mans face.
"Idiocy you idiot!" Jeff laughed. The man smirked.
"Congratulations, welcome to Stone Trek."
"The First Frontier." Ted howled.
"Have a nice flight." The man lowered Jeff and hurled him towards the metal door, Jeff hit the ground hard and tumbled and rolled over himself then finally he stuck his heels into the ground, catipulting himself upward, unfortunately as he did so his location was extremely close to the metal entrance door and he hit it hard with his forehead. The force pushed him backwards and he fell on the ground. That's when Jeff blacked out.